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As a participant in the Quilting Isn’t Funny Blog Tour I’m hosting a giveaway. A lucky Craft Gossip reader will receive a copy of Megan Dougherty’s new book, Quilting Isn’t Funny. My day on the tour is December 5th (today). You can read my review of the book right here.

How to enter. Leave a comment on this post telling me the funniest thing that has ever happened to you in relation to quilting. If you don’t quilt, then you have to go read my review and tell me something you learned, like my two favorite chapters. Oh, and considering that not everyone has a sense of humor that matches Megan’s, please read the following exclusion.

If you have ever written a hateful email to Quilter’s Home (while it existed) and or GenQ (so glad it exists) over Megan’s humor column and/or canceled a subscription for it, you are hereby prohibited from entering this contest.

Contest ends December 10, 2013, at 8 AM CST. Good luck everyone!

By Scarlett Burroughs

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Comments

54 Comments so far

  1. Ruth Goodhart on December 5, 2013 12:55 pm

    I’ve been quilting for about 15 years. I don’t know what would be categorized as “funny” for me. Maybe that I worked in a quilt shop and now have so much fabric in my own house that I should be smacked upside my head when I buy even more fabric? Which I do regularly? And now, I want to read a totally irreverent book to go along with my irreverent personality.

  2. Heather on December 5, 2013 2:22 pm

    Read your review, I’m a newbie quilter so no funny stories yet. I’m sure I’d agree with your 2 fav chapters (anything with zombies and quilting, yup and I can always use a spark for my creativity!) and find a few more to love.

    I know this book has got to be a hoot! I love Megan’s sense of humor and can’t wait to read it. I recently featured her on my blog …if you want a sneak peek of her quilting studio.

  3. Sharon on December 5, 2013 2:30 pm

    The funniest story I have about quilting is once as guild president, there was no heat in the meeting place and we all about froze to death. We were good natured about it and just kept our coats on. Of course it was mid winter! LOL

  4. Alison Gurganus on December 5, 2013 3:33 pm

    I started my first quilt ( on my own, the one I did with mom in 3rd grade doesn’t count) in 1990. I told my sister about her gift a few years later and even laid out its progress for her at her college graduation party. It was finally finished…this year. She will get it for Christmas 13 years after it was started. To help make up for my recalcitraness (i know, not really a word) I have made her a lovely duffle bag to take it back to Germany in. I also used wool batting to help keep her warm…did I mention the back of the quilt took me one day to piece, much to the amusement of my husband.

  5. Charlotte L on December 5, 2013 4:05 pm

    I guess the funniest things are things that I know I did wrong that other never notice. Like putting a fabric wrong side out and then not noticing it until the quilt is done!

  6. Lise on December 5, 2013 4:17 pm

    I had brought a quilt to finish up during a long trip to Ont, 2 1/2 days driving, so I hand quilted while hitting bumps etc…got pretty good at going with the flow, finger tips tought as nails, I went to move over my hoop and couldn’t lolol, I had quilted my finger to my quilt, for real peeps the thread was into my skin and attached to the quilt. Hubby said (…..) was I doing trying to quilt myself into the quilt??? I laughed so hard , well we had to make a pit stop and grab a suitcase. lolol

  7. Megan Null on December 5, 2013 4:24 pm

    My funniest quilting story also happens to be a holiday one. Mom and I used fusible applique and holiday coloring books to create beautiful holiday scenes on small wall quilts. Dad even cut dowels to fit the bitty hanging sleeves before they were mailed out.

    After Christmas, I answered my Aunt’s phone call and was confused when she asked if I helped Mom make the potholders. (What potholders?) I handed the phone over and left the room but quickly reentered when Mom started guffawing into the phone. These beautiful custom works of art were just about that size, so my aunt thought it was a potholder.

  8. quiltzyx/sue on December 5, 2013 4:29 pm

    The funniest thing for me was the time I was working on a challenge art quilt. I was fusing together a seagull with Steam-a-Seam2. I put it next to me on the couch while I did some other work on the background. When I was ready to put onto the background, it was GONE. Disappeared. It took me 30 minutes to find it…on the couch, right next to me. So, then I moved it around the quilt until I found the EXACT right placement & picked up the whole quilt to go back to the iron. That was about 5 steps from the couch. By the time I got there, the bird had disappeared – AGAIN! Sheesh. Another 30 minutes to find it, again. I could not believe that bird was so flighty! And yes, it did get fused in place before it could take off once more. ;^)

  9. Lorilynn King on December 5, 2013 4:55 pm

    I’ve been quilting for 20 years. And I still haven’t learned. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my husband likes long hair, so I don’t cut it beyond a trim once or twice a year. (Thank you hubby…. Do you know how much haircuts cost? That’s a LOT of fabric!)
    And, gray. Of course, my hair is gray. It used to be dark brown… NOT black. But it’s now gray. I refuse to color it. I like my gray, and a bit of white, blending in with the dark brown….. and besides…. paying a colorist? That’s a LOT of fabric.
    So. I quilt. I piece. A lot. with… gray thread.
    You guessed it. Everywhere I go, people are picking gray thread off my backside and teasing me about going bald.

  10. joan in nebraska on December 5, 2013 4:55 pm

    I received a frantic call from the quilt
    Jedi (I am referred to as Yoda) wanting a quick lesson on paper piecing (quick??) I was having dinner with my husband at our favorite Mexican restaurant complete with margaritas. After one last sip, my husband drove me at lighting speed to the rescue. After giving detailed instructions, they laughed that I could paper piece better with margaritas than they could without. I replied that was the problem, paper piecing takes much tequila!!

  11. DianeY on December 5, 2013 4:58 pm

    I think I have a good sense of humor, and I adore Megan’s writings. But I honestly cannot think of a single funny thing that has happened while I was quilting or even sewing! Tragedies, yes, but funny, no! sorry

  12. Jocelyn on December 5, 2013 5:02 pm

    One year I was working away quilting on a quilt that was traveling with me as a wedding present. All of a sudden the needle stopped going up and down!! The motor would run, but no needle action was happening. I was so close to being finished, so I was pretty upset about this setback. I packed up the machine, and headed to the sewing machine shop. As I was explaining what had happened, the lady was very sympathetic. She called the repair man out from the back. He took a look at my machine and then proceeded to plug it in and amazingly the needle went up and down!!! What?? He laughed and said that the bobbin winder had engaged, and when that happens, the needle function does not work. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I was SO glad my machine was not broken. So I carried it back home and finished the quilt. Just in time :-)

  13. Sue on December 5, 2013 5:02 pm

    Love Megan’s blog and her writing style. Might I say that is the best exclusion rule I have read! My funny quilting story is that I went to a class with my sister-in-law and we were sharing a table facing each other. I was busy FMQing away and only later turned over my work to discover one of her applique pieces well and truly quilted into the back of my quilt! Ooops!

  14. Wendy V on December 5, 2013 5:17 pm

    I thought I had found the cat’s meow in an electric seam ripper (much like a nose and ear hair trimmer). I bragged about how fast my ‘unsewing’ was going to be from now on (not that I do a lot of that anyways!) At our last retreat, I was indeed fast, but in addition, every time I needed to rip out a seam, EVERYONE could hear me doing it – and made a comment about it. Boy, you just can’t get away with anything around quilters!

  15. Jessica on December 5, 2013 5:36 pm

    I once quilted about 300 stitches in the sleave of the dress I was wearing! I love those huge flair arm dresses and I had just got back from a date with my husband and I thought I would a sneak in a few mins of sewing before my mom brought the kids home.
    It really was not at all funny to me but my family rolled in the with laughter!
    *Jessica
    juceyj03@gmail.com

  16. Sarah on December 5, 2013 6:33 pm

    In my house, both fabric scraps and dog hair seem to get EVERYWHERE. One day I found a little triangle fabric scrap on the bottom shelf of my fridge.

  17. Melinda on December 5, 2013 6:41 pm

    I would agree that I can’t find anything funny about quilting yet. I find humor in people’s choices of fabric, like in a craft fail sort of way. But to each their own.

  18. WyoDi on December 5, 2013 7:01 pm

    Not mine, but a funny story. One member of guilt guild would mark a shared workspace table down the middle with painters tape. The act itself was almost offensive to the other quilter sharing the table. So, each time tape girl stepped away, her table partener would ever so slightly move the tape closer to tape girl. Of course by later afternoon, tape girl finally noticed her “limited” work space and the entire group of quilters had quite a chuckle!!

  19. Michelle on December 5, 2013 7:04 pm

    I participated in my first Round Robin this past summer. I am terrible at math, hence why I love patterns and, even better, quilt kits!. The math is done for me and tells me exactly what to do!

    While working on the first border for the Round Robin, I cut everything 1/2 inch short…ack! I don’t think I have ever tried to iron-and-stretch so much in my life!!

  20. Lisa F. on December 5, 2013 7:04 pm

    The funniest story is I was sitting with some friends and our husbands. I was saying that a particular quilt store knew me by name and was very friendly. My husband said in response that they actually said, “Hi, Lisa. Here to make your monthly contribution?”

  21. Alyx on December 5, 2013 7:54 pm

    I had a friend over who wanted to watch me quilt, he was absolutely fascinated by my work that he had seen in the past and he wanted to see me in action. After a bottle of wine shared between the two of us we decided it would be a great idea for me to jump on the sewing machine… Rather than just show him on a little sandwich block I showed him how to thread paint little lambs on my fiance’s surprise catan quilt and I sewed the quilt in half – as in I folded it over and started quilting a lamb. The next morning I was so upset, but after a few more drinks and a while with the seem ripper it’s now a funny story.

  22. Patty on December 5, 2013 8:59 pm

    I found a pattern made by a lady in Alaska and bought it to make for my hubby. He was going to a week long school a couple states away so I went with him and brought along my sewing. I decided to start working on the pattern for his quilt while he was at the school. I hit a couple local quilt shops and had that fabric and some of my stash I brought along scattered all over the 2 beds in the hotel room. When he got home later that afternoon he stopped in the doorway and said, “How in the world did you make this room look like a quilt store blew up here while I was only gone for 6 hours?” He was teasing, but it did surprise him.

  23. de on December 5, 2013 10:20 pm

    I don’’t have any funny quilt stories, but I love the others in the comments! I do want to comment on the generosity of quilters, though. A quilting friend of mine has made three quilts for a fundraiser auction for the adoption of my first grand baby from the DRC!

  24. Mary on December 5, 2013 11:24 pm

    Funny quilting? How about the block I made for someone else,,complicated for me. Points perfectly matched, all seams lined up,,only to realize I hadn’t read closely enough to see it was supposed to be in shades of grey,,,and I made it in yellow & green. (The greys never did line up so well.)

  25. Ellee on December 5, 2013 11:32 pm

    Back before cell phones and pagers, it wasn’t so easy to track someone down. In addition to my mom’s phone number and my best friend’s number, my husband had memorized the number of my favorite quilt shop. Whenever he wanted to find me, he would call there first. Always used to get a chuckle from other customers when the shop owner would call out, “Ellee, it’s for you.”

  26. Karen N on December 6, 2013 12:14 am

    Last night my relatively new-to-quilting adult daughter phones me from the UK (I’m in South Africa) and wants to know how to measure for the border for the baby quilt she’s made for a friend. After explaining, I hear her saying it’s an odd number – 40″ plus and half inch plus a quarter inch, and then “my ruler’s not that long!”. Suggested she fold the fabric in half, and divide the measurement to get 20 3/8″… gently explain that 3/8 is midway between 1/4 and 1/2 – much laughter all round. To be fair, she grew up with metric measurements, so imperial ones are a slight challenge and I’m real proud of how she’s taken to quilting (no problem now of whom to leave the fabric hoard)!

  27. Betsy on December 6, 2013 4:30 am

    I love her stories. She makes quilting so real. No funny stories here but would love to own this book

  28. helen-mary on December 6, 2013 6:06 am

    I made a Christmas quilt for my niece, who lives on the other side of the world. At the time she was single, 30, and a bit of a party-er. I used ‘sexy men’ fabric on the back. Found out a week after I shipped the quilt that she was pregnant and engaged.

  29. Deb on December 6, 2013 6:27 am

    I don’t have any really funny stories, just the usual stories of piecing about 100 side wings onto triangles BACKWARDS, or the usual chaining about 100 pieces and having no thread in the bobbin, or the fact that I make a continuous trail from my sewing room all throughout the house because of the teeny scraps, loose threads, bits of paper from paper piecing that have stuck on the bottom of my bare feet!

    I have been reading Megan’s blog for a couple of years and love her work!

  30. Sara on December 6, 2013 7:20 am

    I don’t know about funny but my story is quite ironic. I worked in the office of a garment factory but never learned to sew. Oh, they have tried but unsuccessfully. Finally, 20 years later, I find myself learning to sew to refashion clothes to get more use out of them for the kids. Now, I can’t stop hoarding fabric and sewing!

  31. jane d on December 6, 2013 10:16 am

    No funny stories yet–but I’m sure they’re in my near future!

  32. Brenda Gibson on December 6, 2013 11:00 am

    I’ve sewn my clothing and even my long hair into my quilt. That’s about as funny as it got. If you saw the first quilt I ever made you would probably laugh though.

  33. Denise in PA on December 6, 2013 11:26 am

    This is only funny because it worked out in the end…otherwise I’d still be crying! Last year I was making a very modern, very geometric quilt for my son. It had lots of bias and was difficult to put together. Once you got the quilt together you had to trim the “corners” to make it square. What a mess! I trimmed and trimmed and trimmed (way more than the pattern called for) – and I thought I’d have to cut so much off the quilt to make it square that it would wind up being a wall hanging. Amazingly, it wound up being a smidge *bigger* than the quilt pattern!! I still don’t know how that happened – reminded me of the miracle of the loaves and fishes!!

  34. Quilting Tangent on December 6, 2013 11:32 am

    Nothing funny here. Her book sounds good, need the laughs.

  35. Jeanne on December 6, 2013 2:33 pm

    Gosh I can’t even come up with one but there is always a guf-faw happening in my sewing room. Thanks for a chance to win a fun book.

  36. Judy mills on December 6, 2013 7:05 pm

    I made a quilt for my grandson when he was a baby, then his baby sister confiscated it about 5 years later. Now she is 5, HHS quilt is a complete rag, and she won’t part with it. Hope I win the book!

  37. OHSue on December 6, 2013 8:08 pm

    I just had a chuckle with a friend when I told her I had just learner a new type of quilting math….applique math. What I hadn’t thought about when I was merrily cutting out 72 holly leaves was to do the math and ‘figure out’ that I was also going to have to sew 72 #%&*@ leaves.

  38. karen on December 6, 2013 8:32 pm

    My sister is a big quilter. And she would dearly love this book. I have never tried quilting (I knit and crochet) but I am sure my sister would teach me with this book as a quide.

  39. Jeri Niksich on December 6, 2013 9:56 pm

    I don’t have anything funny that hasn’t been posted, mostly just chaining & running out of Bobbin, but I really want this book to call my own :)

  40. Lee McLean on December 7, 2013 7:20 am

    When I discovered I needed more of the focus fabric to finish a quilt for my son, I tracked down the woman who was behind me at the fabric store cutting table who said of my fabric bolt “leave that out for me – I have to have some” (as in emailed three friends asking if they might have an email for her – thank goodness I knew her name!) and bought it from her. Glad she understood a fabric crisis!

  41. Vicki H on December 7, 2013 8:06 pm

    The only thing I can think of was a time I had mending on the sewing table and didn’t realize that after chain piecing blocks some of the mending was pieced also. I can hardly wait to read the book.

  42. Anne L on December 8, 2013 2:19 am

    Would having bought two quilt set packages (monthly arrivals); starting (at a class) two different crazy patch elegant quilts (and my house style is more modernist!); and finding hexagons I cut out 35 years ago to take on a cargo ship when travelling with my husband, having to leave them on board (with rest of luggage)when we had to climb overboard to fly back to join another ship, hence never starting it – suppose could almost say the designs are retro now but definitely not my scene; be considered funny or really definitely crazy & weird?

  43. mary mac on December 8, 2013 12:11 pm

    Well I know or hope I am not the only one to quilt my fabric wrong side up and not realize til so one else pointed it out.

  44. Carmen on December 8, 2013 12:13 pm

    I’m just a beginner so I don’t have any funny experiences – just a love/hate relationship with my seam ripper :P. I read your review – your favorites were “A Quilter’s Survival Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse” and “How to Put the Spark Back into Your Quilting”

  45. Andrea @ Sew Divertimento on December 8, 2013 12:50 pm

    Hmmm…. Most of my ‘funny stories’ involved cutting things wrong, or having to rip out the same seam three times because I keep messing up! =) I don’t know what I’d do without the five seam rippers throughout my sewing room!!!

  46. Peggy R on December 8, 2013 6:16 pm

    I’ve done 2 quilts in my life – sort of. They were baby quilts for my Sisters, who were both pregnant around the same time. The quilts were pre-made. One was an applique quilt, in which I had to embroider the appliques first, then sew them on. The second one was the story of Peter Rabbit, all in embroidery!! I never swore so much in my life, from poking my finger a few times, but both quilts were loved. Now I’m ready for the big leagues, and have the patience to tackle a bedspread for my bed, when I find the right pattern. Although I have a sewing machine, I might do part of it in hand stitching, since I still own my quilting frame from all those years ago. Crazy? Perhaps. Dedicated. You bet!!

  47. Debra Neiman on December 9, 2013 1:19 pm

    I thought quilting while I was in bed was a good idea, until I also stitched the sheets to my project. Does that sound funny, it does now. Merry Christmas. crystalbluern at onlineok dot com

  48. Tamie on December 9, 2013 1:58 pm

    I won’t say how long I have been quilting but suffice it to say that I started before my second child was born and she is a college graduate. That said, in the last five years I participated in a BOM from a local shop. I picked up my first month’s parts and proceeded to incorrectly pieced two large nine patches. The funny (or sad) thing is that I didn’t even notice until a friend pointed it out. I left them that way to remind myself that I don’t really need to be a perfectionist. Kind of like the Amish thing.

  49. Dennis Mullins Sr on December 9, 2013 2:06 pm

    Hi, the funnest thing that I did was I pinned the quilt to the carpet. I had friends come over and move the furniture for me because I have a bad back so they stayed to move every thing back. I finished pinning it and when I went to pick it up it would not move everyone had a good laugh till they had to help unpin it. That was the last time I worked on carpet.

  50. Lisa McGriff on December 9, 2013 2:19 pm

    Humor is in the eye of the beholder??? The funniest things that happen to me are when I’m quilting and someone comes in and they are looking at me all strange…I’m like… WHAT? only to notice that I am covered and I do mean covered in little pieces of thread.. My husband calls me the human thread catcher!

  51. Josefina on December 9, 2013 4:57 pm

    My godson’s wife probably didn’t think it was funny but once she told me she liked day lilies. So one day I thought I would surprise her with a lap quilt made of fabrics full of day lilies, or so I thought they were. It turns out they were large azaleas. It was funny for me but not for her I’m sure. She loves the quilt a lot and leaves it folded lengthwise on the edge of their bed everyday. Whenever I go through my quilt album and I see the photo of her quilt, I chuckle.

  52. Mary Ellen on December 10, 2013 10:59 am

    Quilt retreats are always funny. We retreat at an old Air Force base (primitive). After an early shower down the hall, I tiptoed back to my room (clad only in my beach towel. When I grabbed the door knob and it fell to the floor with a clatter. I whispered to my roommate to open the door for me and she said, “Open it yourself” and the rest of the floor people told me to be quiet. AH, good times.

  53. Sallie on December 10, 2013 1:31 pm

    Being bound to the binding – I stitched through a callous in my finger and didn’t even feel it.

  54. Quilting Isn’t Funny, but I sure am laughing | Crinkle Dreams on December 11, 2013 8:08 am

    […] everyone else on this book’s blog tour, I’ve snickered and snorted my way through it, publicly […]

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